Tonight I have just read an amazing post written by Kate from 'A year with horses' ......
Her words hit home to me as they did to many others I'm sure. The questions we ask ourselves about so many things in our life. Her post is one that I look at almost as a metaphor for my own life. OK where am I heading you ask ....well I'm not sure but things have been brewing in this head of mine and Kates post has stirred things up.Our fear of failure?? ....are we doing right by others/ourselves ....the fight to overcome ourselves and our own demons
Firstly I started thinking Saturday while I worked my young horses. I have become determined to see their training through and stick at it ....and with them. In a funny way they are like a symbol to stick at something. I feel like when the going gets tough I tend to bail out and run .......And looking back at life I've run from lots. Dont get me wrong I have succeeded on great levels in some regards but for what ever reason I do doubt myself and have run away from problems. I'm not good at letting stuff out .....I'm a stewer .......stuff twirls around and then I get everything out of proportion and feel like I've failed ....other people and most of all myself.
My two ponies have become something I want to be successful with, even when the going gets tough. If I can do right by them maybe I'll do right by myself.As we get older sometimes it is tougher .....the falls both physical and mentally hurt more
All heavy stuff I know but with job issues .....sick Dad .....lifes pressures ....I'm trying to form a life plan so that I come up smiling.
7 comments:
Thank you for the kind mention - it's powerful stuff when stirred up, and stirring up is the right thing to do at certain points. I know well that feeling of responsibility to the horses you describe - to have them be able to work and be ridden, and how important it is not to let them down.
And it does have a lot to do with life as a whole - horsemanship can't be separated from life - it's all one thing.
I so related to that blog of Kates, I just wrote a big blurb twice but wiped it all out, you don't need it on your blog, all I can say is I'm hearing you, I understand.
Powerful post that KAte wrote and this one too.I hope you continue to strive to achieve your goal, to care for yourself well and the ponies
Life is hard. But with a plan we can usually make the goals we set for ourselves successful. Sometimes life throws a lot at us at one time and it's hard to cope but I've found that with a little perseverance it all works out in the end. As we get older we have to learn how to adapt to achieve our goals.
I'm sure you'll stick with your young horses and follow through with them. I think they will help you get through this hard time in your life. Hope your Dad is doing better.
Your post reminds me again of how horses mirror us. Do what feels right and enjoy it. If your not, then something isn't quite right.
I was just thinking the other day... I will be 46. So close to 50. And I'm getting back into horses? Am I crazy? With so much on my plate and as many questions (and worries) about life, it seems, as you do what am I thinking. It's not like horses are inexpensive and we do have six kids to help get through college, braces.
But then I LOVE being at the farm, love my sweet new QH.. and then what do I do? I buy a 3-1/2 year old Friesian/QH mix. I guess my thought on all this is of course, be careful, but enjoy life. Live life. Celebrate the good that is happening now and treasure the memories. And do your best with what will happen. Worrying just keeps us from being able to enjoy today fully.
But with horses, education and asking for help is not silly. Understanding our limits and capabilities will only help them... I have a great trainer and great people who are advising me and helping me every step of the way. I'm not so young anymore, but I have young children... (six in all) Your home looks like a child's dream... looks to me like you are on the right path
Sally, good points. Yes ,Kate is Super analytical communicator. She really hits the inside thought process and writes so well.
You are a start cookie and also deal with yourself well, I've always thought of you as realistic. Tarry a time and ponder, but don't you worry too much.
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